If the great author C.S. Lewis were alive today, I wonder what he might add to his famous “The Screwtape Letters?” As an avid fan of his work I would like to make a feeble attempt on what he might write about the fictional “Wormwood” and “Uncle Screwtape.” Their dialogues in “Screwtape” were fascinating and entertaining. I would like to present the following examples of a fictional 21st dialogue between the evil pair that might appear in an epilogue for The Screwtape Letters. It might go something like this…
“My dear Wormwood, I want to congratulate you on keeping the family unit divided, disorganized and poor. Good job on holding the family down in such abject poverty! Without money, the squalid families will have no desire in life except to “survive” and then waste what little money they have left on fast food, cigarettes, lottery tickets etc. They will have no time for education and dreams.”
“Congratulations on bringing the morals of the country and family down. The low moral climate, aided by the media and key educational systems--have helped to keep everyone indifferent to the degradation and increasing immorality of their cities and nation. Because many are indifferent to the morals of their leaders—state, local and federal-- they care little about their families or themselves. I’ve noticed that the lowly human is increasingly feeling superior to those who are in charge--especially when the elite—government officials, movie stars and such—are succumbing to lawsuits and other juicy sidelines of life. Why look at the politicians! It seems that most of them will do anything—promise anything—to keep their political lives alive and working! They care nothing about their fellow man or woman! But that is good news! Much good can come from their indifference and greed!
I want to commend you also, Wormwood, on keeping the lowly human in a busy state of activity. By keeping him or her busy in various activities, they have little time to think; and therefore will neglect family and friends. By the time he or she reaches the end of their life, it will be too late to do the really good and decent things. And, that’s exactly what makes our line of work, wonderful and so fulfilling!
Wormwood, my dearest nephew, even though you’ve done splendid work in so many areas, you must do more about “rudeness.” Yes, I know that rudeness has reached an all time high but your efforts are not consistent or persistent, enough. The rudeness must be of a quality where it brings despair and a touch of anarchy for it to be effective and pleasing. Rudeness must be more “personal” in nature. Bring back the “glare” in a person’s eyes when he or she feels offended. Let the rudeness come from someone they know and love, preferably a family member. Oh, that is so delightful when that happens!
Mediocrity, my dear Wormwood is doing much for our side but it must be in all areas of life not just the “customer service” areas. Mediocrity must be especially prevalent among family and friends. Let the lowly human only do what is necessary to sustain a friendship or family situation. Indifference, that wonderful companion of ours, has helped exceedingly in destroying the family and friendship! Keep it going, good buddy.
I also want to commend you, my dear nephew, on the wonderful job you are doing with our best ally. I’m speaking of course about selfishness! Here is where we shine, my lowly Wormwood! Selfishness is at an all-time high, especially with the young and the very old. The young and the old are thinking of only themselves these days and is helping to discourage and alienate families and friends. Keep this going by telling the lowly human that it’s only right and fair that they focus on themselves first—and everyone else—last. After all, these days it’s survival of the fittest and the little human does want to survive at all costs, doesn’t he? Yes, selfishness, my lowly fiend, must stay high on our list of obstructions!
Now, to a different but more disturbing topic….What has happened my dear Wormwood with the “return of front porches?” You know that this will only help the other side! Porches are bringing back the neighborhood and neighbors are sharing and caring again. We cannot have this! However, we can use the porches by whispering into the lowly human’s ear that it would be fun and not harmful to once in awhile—on their own porch—poke fun at their neighbors. This will cause separation and hostility, “cousins” toward those wonderful feelings of loneliness and separation. Keep your eyes on this potential “fireworks” situation…Could prove very beneficial and I might add, extremely entertaining!
Wormwood, again I must commend you on the affluence you are having with TV Sitcoms. Most of them make adults, children and the elderly look totally moronic, stupid and selfish. The old saying “monkey see, monkey do” is causing great harm, division and such a plus factor for our side! Keep it up but be careful; some of the sitcoms are actually becoming “decent” and “interesting.” We must not allow this! I’ll be monitoring you on this, rest assured!
(More on Screwtape, next month)
Copyright Toni Star 2014